Episode 281: How to Stop Struggling with Indecision | GET LIFTED
Listen on Apple Podcasts | Listen on Spotify
Struggling with indecision? Listen to this. This GLT episode is for those of you who hem & haw, go back & forth, second guess yourself and ask others to weigh in every time you have to make a decision. If you're looking to cultivate more self trust in decision making, this one's for you! This is one of those episodes you'll come back to time and time again!
Connect with Erin on Instagram here to submit questions for future episodes.
Resources mentioned:
Funk’tional Nutrition Academy™
Energetics of Expansion Business Course
Organifi supplement powder (save 20% on your order with code FUNK)
Learn more about Mindset
Related episodes:
263: How to Listen to Your Intuition
279: How Do I Get Clients? | GET LIFTED
278: Magnetism & Aligned Action in Your Business
247: Overcoming Self-Doubt: Mindset of a Successful Practitioner
-
Erin Holt [00:00:02]:
I'm Erin Holt, and this is the Funk'tional Nutrition Podcast, where we lean into intuitive functional medicine. We look at how diet, our environment, our emotions, and our beliefs all affect our physical health. This podcast is your full bodied, well rounded resource. I've got over a decade of clinical experience, and because of that, I've got a major bone to pick with diet culture, and the conventional healthcare model, they're both failing so many of us. But functional medicine isn't the panacea that it's made out to be either. We've got some work to do, and that's why creating a new model is my life's work. I believe in the ripple effect, so I founded the Funk'tional Nutrition Academy, a school in mentorship for practitioners who want to do the same.
Erin Holt [00:00:45]:
This show is for you if you're looking for new ways of thinking about your health and you're ready to be an active participant in your own healing, you'll get things here that you won't get other places. Please keep in mind this podcast is created for educational purposes only and should never be used as a replacement for medical diagnosis or treatment. I would love for you to follow the show, rate, review and share, because you never know whose life you might change and, of course, keep coming back for more. Now give me the mic so I can take it away. Hello, my friends. Welcome to another Get Lifted Thursday. This is where I intend to give you a little pep rally, a little kick in the seat, little like LFG energy, right? Activate you into your power.
Erin Holt [00:01:30]:
That is my goal. And today is all about struggling with indecision. So if you feel like you have a hard time making decisions, this one is for you. And I want you to think about which one sounds like you. So if you can put your decision making into one of two categories, which one is you? I tune in, I listen, I trust myself, and I go all in on a decision. Or I waffle, I hem, and I haw, I talk through it with everyone I know. I ask everybody to weigh in. I talk about it over and over and over again.
Erin Holt [00:02:04]:
And then if I do make a decision, I usually second guess myself. So which one is you? If you are, more often than not, in the second camp, then I really want you to tuck into today's episode. And I sort of envision this being an episode that you come back to time and time again, anytime you are flippy floppy, wishy washy, shaky, flaky, going back and forth on making a decision, come back to this episode, and maybe even send it to a friend who, you know, struggles with this sort of thing. I love, love love, what Violetta Pleshakova says here, she's a PhD that I follow on Instagram. She says, extraordinary leaders do not wait until they feel ready. They get ready. They become the proverbial future self through doing deep inner work and taking courageous outer action.
Erin Holt [00:02:54]:
Extraordinary leaders take full responsibility for making the most aligned choices for them. They do not outsource their decisions. They get centered in themselves, decide and go all in. They know that there is no right or wrong decision per se, because they are able to get fully behind themselves in whatever decision they make. To unlock your destiny as an extraordinarily powerful leader, start making extraordinarily powerful decisions. That last one gives me goosebumps. I love it. I love it.
Erin Holt [00:03:25]:
Now when we think of leaders, we think of leading other people. And of course, this is true. I was having a conversation with my Ops manager, Jenna, and she was talking about she's like, when I'm working with a practitioner or I'm working with a provider or I'm working with a leader in any capacity, I need them to have confidence. I need to feel like they've got me. So if they show a lack of confidence, if they feel to me like they're second guessing themselves, they don't trust themselves, that makes me feel unsafe. And so this is so important. If we're in the role of a spaceholder or a leader in any capacity, that second guessing energy of yourself, it might make people in your space feel unsafe. But all of this also applies to self leadership, too.
Erin Holt [00:04:13]:
How do you lead yourself? How do you hold yourself through navigating, tricky situations or big decisions? How do you do that? I saw Jill Coleman post this last week on Instagram, and she says, we often think about the ROI, the return on investment, but people often overlook the COI, the cost of inaction. Staying in a holding pattern isn't benign. She says, indecision is a decision too, and I'll add my own here. Indecision is a decision to invest your energy into the in between state. Staying in indecisiveness, it's the opposite of action. It's the opposite of forward momentum. And I'm not telling you that decisions always have to be yes. It's not yes day, all day, every day.
Erin Holt [00:05:07]:
Sometimes the decision is no. Deciding not to do something is a decision. But if your decision is a no, you have to own that. You have to really get your own back with that no. I think about I talked about this on the podcast last year. I joined a mastermind, and it was a $25,000 investment. So it was a significant investment, and it involved travel, which is outside my zone of comfort. Okay, let's just say that.
Erin Holt [00:05:34]:
So the big event, I didn't know a single person, and I had to go to LA. And it was like, kind of like I had to make a game time decision. I was wicked nervous about it, but I knew even though it was outside my zone of comfort, I knew that it was a yes. I knew that I was making this decision to get closer and closer to my future self, my future self was looking back, being like, please say yes, please say yes. And so I went for it. Now in juxtaposition with that, this year I joined another mastermind, another significant investment. And this one had three live events throughout the year. The first one I went to was back in May, and I loved it.
Erin Holt [00:06:12]:
It was an extraordinarily powerful event. So glad that I did it. And then I was planning on going to the second event, which was two weeks ago, and I was planning on going, had plans with friends, all of that. And all of a sudden I was like, this is a no. This really feels like a no. And the reason for that is my current goals. And we can maybe talk about this at a later date, not today. My current goals are to do less.
Erin Holt [00:06:40]:
So this decision, I had to align my decisions with my current goals. So I said no. At first, I was like, oh, I really want to go. I really want to see these people. I want to go. But I said no because it was the right choice. And then I moved on. So even if your decision is no, you have to own that, have your own back.
Erin Holt [00:07:01]:
Trust your yeses and trust your nos. Because then it frees up the energy for you to put into something productive. And if you think about it, those of us that struggle with decision or indecision, we will make the decision. And then we'll spend so much time after we make the decision being like, did I really make the right decision? We invest the energy into FOMO, into like, woulda, coulda, shoulda, I should have done that, or I waited too long. I should have done that, I should have done that. I shouldn't have done that. And it's still an energy suck. It's still still draining our resources.
Erin Holt [00:07:32]:
And this is why the amount of energy that's tied up in indecision, it's really high. And some of us are really good at putting conditions on decision making. So we do the old dance of when I have this, then I can do it. Once I do this, then I can do this. Like, we put conditions on making decisions. And what can happen for so many folks is that you can miss your whole life just waiting to get to the other side. And this is what I mean by the holding pattern. It's a waiting.
Erin Holt [00:08:08]:
Indecision can just be like, waiting to make moves, waiting to take next steps in your life. And so that's why I say the amount of energy tied up in indecision is high. And the cost of indecision can be high too. So if you think about it, when we're waffling and hemming and hawing and feeling the need to talk it through with everybody, what do you think about this? And then what do you think about this? And what do you think about this? And second, guessing ourselves. That's really time intensive. That takes a lot of time. It takes a lot of time, and it takes a lot of energy. This is kind of like the moment when I start to feel sick of my own shit.
Erin Holt [00:08:47]:
Have you ever been there? You're like, oh, my God, here the sound of my own voice is bothering me. And if we feel that way, then the people in our life probably feel that way too. And this is when we can start to our indecision can actually be a drain on other people's energy as well. And of course, I'm not saying that your friends and your family shouldn't be there for you to talk through, like, big decisions. It's just that I call it the circling the drain energy when you're going around and around and around. And really the only way we get off that merry go round is to make a decision. It's, like, to stop the nonsense. Another example of the cost of indecision, a colleague of mine, she spent six months trying to curate the exact perfect offer, and it was like, should this be three months? Should it be six months? Should it be nine months? Should they get six sessions? Should they get nine sessions? Do I charge this much money or this much money? Do they get this lab or this lab? Over and over and over and over again, we went with the conversations of the perfect offer, and I just kept saying, look, you just got to do it.
Erin Holt [00:09:53]:
You just got to get the offer out there. And then when people join the offer, you'll realize what you need to tweak by actually taking people through the experience. That's how we learn how to curate the perfect offer. You don't just wait and, like, okay, once I get the exact copy on the website and everything is exactly lined up, then I can hit go. And what happened is, six months later, when she did hit go and she signed a couple of clients, she realized, oh, gosh, there's some things that I need to tweak and change and rearrange. Right? And so the cost of that was not just time, but money as well, because that's six months that she could have been working with clients, making money that she wasn't. She was just waiting. She was in a holding pattern of indecision.
Erin Holt [00:10:31]:
Should I? Shouldn't I? Should I? Shouldn't I? Should I? Shouldn't I? Right. Another example of the cost of indecision is this is kind of like a little bit of a silly example, but it just happened, and it's like, sometimes decisions are big, and sometimes they're not so big. But my husband and I, we lease our cars, and we have four years, and his lease is up two years prior to mine, and we, like, leasing. It's a thing. I mean, if you're a finance person, you're probably like, that's stupid. I know, but we really like it, and this time around, the plan was when his lease got up, I was going to get into a luxury car. And I currently drive a 4runner. For the past six years, it's been my dream car.
Erin Holt [00:11:14]:
But I was desiring to drive a luxury car, and I felt some insecurities about that. And so anytime Scott came to me and was like, hey, we have to let's go test, he was doing a lot of research and kept bringing things to me, and I couldn't make a decision. I was like, oh, I don't know. So, long story less long, his lease was up. We had no choice. He had to make a decision. So he ended up getting a new car. And when he pulled up the driveway with his new whip, that's when I realized, like, oh, shit, this is the cost of my indecision.
Erin Holt [00:11:50]:
It's like, I don't actually get to drive the car that I was really excited about driving. Now, obviously he's not an asshole, so he offered me the new car, all that kind of stuff. But sometimes there's a deeper reason why we keep ourselves in an indecision holding pattern. And so stay till the end because I'm going to kind of talk through the deeper reasons. But for this situation, the cost of my indecision was like, oh, okay, I'm going to be in this car for the next two years. A little bit silly example, but it kind of paints the picture. Another example of the cost of indecision. Now, I've talked about how I always do a beta group for every program that I run, and it always has a beta price.
Erin Holt [00:12:30]:
And then I iterate, iterate iterate I'm constantly adding value each and every time. I talked about this last week, if you listened to the Getting Clients episode. So when I first launched the Funk'tional Nutrition Academy, it was back in July 2020, and I offered the first beta group of FNA for I think it was like around $7,000. And then as I added more, added more value, it went up to $10,000, then it went up to $15,000. And now the price is $20,000. And this has been the price for well over a year. Okay, just keep adding lots of value, adding lots of value, adding lots of value. And now the price is at $20k.
Erin Holt [00:13:08]:
Sometimes we'll have students that have been thinking about joining FNA for a couple of years be like, oh, I thought the price was $7k, or I thought the price was $10k. And we say it was, but it's not anymore. And that's kind of the beauty of being an early adopter. But that is the potential cost of indecision, of not deciding back when you really wanted to do it. So now there's a financial cost. There's also sort of like a time cost where people are like, gosh, I wish when they do join FNA, they're like, I wish I had done this sooner, because you could have spent two years working toward your dream and then be two years ahead of where you are right now. And I totally recognize that some people just take longer to decide and make a big decision, which is completely fine, obviously. But here's the deal.
Erin Holt [00:14:02]:
We can't meet you at your indecision holding pattern three years ago. Because we've been in the energy of action in forward momentum for the past three years, and we've been a magnet for that type of community, are the action takers and the forward momentum and the people that are like, gosh, I feel scared, but I'm going to do this anyway. We're not a holding tank for indecision. We're not really a space to wait while you think maybe one day it's not the Bermuda Triangle for your dreams. And in the FNA application form, we have people fill out their dreams, their goals and desires. And I just can't be an ongoing receptacle for unlived dreams like that crushes my spirit. My sole mission is to help people see their own power, cultivate their trust, and go for it. So I really am an energetic match for that.
Erin Holt [00:14:51]:
Even if you don't fully feel like you trust yourself, even if you don't feel like you have it all figured out, you make a decision, and you know that by being you're, like, by being in Erin's energy for the next 14 months, something is going to shift. I'm going to figure it out. I'm going to learn how. And so that's why I say we're not the Bermuda Triangle for your dreams. We're actually the launch pad for your dreams. And so the cost of being in a holding pattern of indecision is sometimes you sit back and you watch other people live out your dreams. And that is one of the worst feelings, really. I think we can spend so much of our life saying, now is not the right time.
Erin Holt [00:15:30]:
Now is not the right time. Now is not the right time, or we can just go for it. But I will obviously acknowledge that now might not be the right time for something right. That's where our sacred no's come from. So how can you discern between what is truly an aligned yes and what is truly aligned no? And you have to have some level of discernment to check your own alignment. So the way that I do this is there's a feeling, there's a visceral feeling in my body when something is a yes and when something is a no. And so as you listen to this, maybe you close your eyes if you're driving, maybe not, maybe not. Maybe you just do this with your eyes open.
Erin Holt [00:16:09]:
But I really want you to tune in and think about what does a yes feel like in your body? What does a no feel like? So think about a time, a time where you're like, this is such a clear yes. I don't have to hem and haw over it. I just know. I know. This is a hard yes. I know it is. What did that feel like? How did you know? What was the experience in your body that was going on that gave you that clear, knowing this is a yes, and same deal for no. Think about a time that you were like, oh, no.
Erin Holt [00:16:52]:
Oh, absolutely not. That is a hard no for me. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. How did you know? What was the physical sensation or the visceral experience inside your body that told you this is a no? Now, if you don't get a physical sensation or a feeling in your body, that's okay. You might be more visual or auditory. So maybe the questions you ask yourself is, what does a yes look like? What is a visual representation of yes? What is a symbol or a color that represents yes? Or is there a colored light that represents my clear yes? If there was a certain symbol that represented yes, what would that be? If I were to know, what would it be? If I were to know, what would that be? What would my clear yes representation look like? Or you could even do what would it sound like? Is there a message that you actually hear? Is there words? Is there a sound that you actually hear? What is the symbol that your mind presents to you to be a powerful representation of your clear yes? And you can even do this. You can close your eyes, and you can just say, show me a yes. Show me a yes.
Erin Holt [00:18:14]:
So those are some things that you can spend some time with. I would probably do it in more of, like, a meditation state versus just trying to do it right now and then do the same thing for your no. So you begin to cultivate your internal guidance system, and then you begin to use your internal guidance system. You act on the guidance that it's giving you. And this is how we build confidence. This is how we build self trust. This is where self esteem comes from. You make the decision, and then you trust yourself to figure it out on the other side.
Erin Holt [00:20:24]:
Now, something I really value and prioritize is continuing education. We tend to invest in and when I say invest, I'm talking money, time, and energy. We tend to invest in the things that we have a high value on. I highly value continuing education, so I've been investing in it since I graduated dietetic school in 2010. Yes, even when I was flat broke, I invest my time, my money, and my energy into things that I value.
Erin Holt [00:21:04]:
So where there's a will, there's a way. And I wanted to get really good at what I did. So I invested in continuing education, in training programs and mentorship. And I still do. But here's my secret. You ready for it? Here's my secret. Every single time I have invested in any program, whether it was a nutrition training, functional medicine training, a mastermind, a mentorship, I have gotten something of value out of it. So it has always been worth it.
Erin Holt [00:21:41]:
And do you want to know why? Because I decided I would. I set the intention, and I decided I decided for myself that every investment I make, I get a good ROI. I receive something back of value. And this is why my most powerful affirmations start with I choose to believe. I choose to know and believe, or I decide. That one of those three things. I choose to believe. I choose to know and believe.
Erin Holt [00:22:12]:
I decide that because I know whatever comes after those words are so powerful. That is how important the act of choosing or deciding for yourself is. Whatever comes after the statement I decide is a big deal. It's a BFD, as my microbiology professor would say, a BFD. And what happens and this is neuroscience but what happens is your brain starts to search out, and it starts to search for and therefore see opportunities and potential and solutions that it didn't see before, because it was instructed to do exactly that. When you say, I decide, you are giving your mind clear marching orders. I choose to know and believe that this is the exact right choice for me. No matter what my decision is, I choose to know and believe that this is the exact right choice for me.
Erin Holt [00:23:10]:
And when you do this, when you claim this, when you own this, your mind will show you exact evidence that it was the exact right choice for you. And so when I do this, I move into the expectant state where I expect to see the thing that I decided to get, and because I expect to see it, I do. And then action is where everything gets to shift on a permanent level, taking an action step forward. And sometimes to take an action step, it does require that you get out of your own way to take the action step forward. But when you do this, you're telling the mind, hey, this is important. When your mind sees you take action toward what you want, it automatically deems it and flags it and tags it as important. When you go out of your way to take action on something, your mind says, whoa, she means business. This is serious.
Erin Holt [00:24:08]:
And then you're reinforcing that this is the normal thing that we do now. This is what we do now. This is how we act now. This is how we choose now. And just the coolest stuff happens. It's like your mind really plots out, and there's a tremendous amount of science in this. I don't have the time to get into it in these shorter episodes. But basically, the mind starts to show you more opportunity, more experiences, more people that align with what you're trying to build.
Erin Holt [00:24:35]:
It allows the brain to see more potential and actively look for more opportunity for the thing that you want, for your desire, for the thing that you're calling in, for your goal, for your intention. Some of this really is neuroscience, and I think some of this is perhaps more metaphysical, depending on what you believe in. But I believe that when I make a choice, when I decide the universe, spirit guides, angels, God, source itself, whatever you believe in, it's like it all starts conspiring in your favor, and you start to see synchronicities, and you start to become more aware of things that you weren't aware of before. I've said before, it's like the pathway lights itself up. There has been so many times where I'm like, I don't really know what's on the other step here. I just know I've got to do this. And then it's like, I take one step, and the pathway lights itself up, step after step after step. I've seen it so many times in my own life that I know that it's true, that I know that this gets to be my experience.
Erin Holt [00:25:32]:
I really deeply believe in that. And I want you to think about a time for yourself where this might have happened maybe you made a choice. You made a decision, you took a step forward, and then the rest of the path kind of just, oh, shoot. Like, that just worked out for me. That really just worked out for me. And I'm sure you can think of at least one example. We want to start to collect evidence for ourselves that this gets to be true, and it continues to be true. And I really love what James Clear says here.
Erin Holt [00:26:00]:
He says every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. The more you take action, that actions that are aligned with the new identity that you're building, the more you build evidence for that identity, for who you are. So we begin to shift the story of who we are. The story gets to become, I am somebody who trusts myself. I am somebody who makes good decisions. I am somebody who expects to see that it's all worked out in my favor. It's all rigged in my favor.
Erin Holt [00:26:30]:
We really need to create alignment between our goals or our desires and our behavior and our action. A really good question to ask yourself is, can my current decisions carry me to my desired future? Or maybe even better, depending on where you're coming from. Can my lack of decision making, can my indecision carry me to my desired future? Can my current indecision carry me to my desired future? Now, like I said earlier, this might require you to do some deep inner work to get to the real root of why you're not making a decision. And here's why I say the real root. The thing that you think is an obstacle, you're like, oh, I'm not doing this because or, I'm not sure about this because here's the one obstacle. If I waved a magic wand and removed that as an obstacle, what would you do? Would you go for it? That thing that you're saying, if this wasn't here, I would do it. If that actually wasn't there, would you still do it? Or would you find another obstacle in your way? Because this might be representative that there's some underlying thing going on. We're in an FNA
Erin Holt [00:27:42]:
enrollment period, so I'm talking a lot about FNA. I've got it fresh on the brain, right? So I'll use another example. We have a really good track record of people, our students, making their investment back. We have an earn while you learn mentality, and there's business coaching baked in. There's a whole training at month six. So you can make your investment back if that's your goal.
Erin Holt [00:28:01]:
It's not everybody's goal. If that's your goal, we help you do that, and many people do. So we communicate this to interested students who are worried about the investment. If they're saying, oh, the one thing holding me back is cost, and we say, cool, or, this is a big investment. I've never made an investment of this size. We say cool. We actually have evidence that investing in this is exactly what you need to open the floodgates of abundance.
Erin Holt [00:28:25]:
We have evidence that people make their money back. We have evidence that FNA can actually the education and FNA can actually pay for itself if you apply it. We have evidence of that. So it's like when we take the perceived obstacle away, when we remove that as a block, and then they immediately come up with another block, like, oh, actually, this is the thing that I'm worried about. Usually that's indicative that there's something else going on underneath the hood. And sometimes it can be a secondary gain or a secondary benefit of not making the decision, not going for it. And this is true just outside of FNA, for any type of indecision, a secondary gain or secondary benefit, we should probably do a whole ass show on this, in case you haven't heard of it. But it's oftentimes subconscious, so it's not something that you're aware of, it's not obvious, but it's some type of benefit that you get from not making a decision.
Erin Holt [00:29:22]:
And by being a business coach and being a clinical mentor to practitioners for four years now, it kind of reminds me of the Marianne Williamson quote, our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. This is why I created the Energetics of Expansion, because there's a lot of fears and storylines and insecurities about being successful, about growing, about being witnessed, about being seen, about putting our work out there. And sometimes that is sort of the secondary gain is like, I am safer when I stay here. It is safer to play small. It is actually safer for my brain to not go after my dreams because I don't know what's on the other side. And I've said this before and I will say it again nine times out of ten, we will choose the pain and the discomfort of being where we are, of sort of like staying stuck over the unknown of the future, over the fear of the unknown. It's easier for us to tolerate the discomfort of lack of forward momentum or indecision.
Erin Holt [00:30:36]:
It's easier for us to hold that than it is to holt the frequency of I actually don't know what's on the other side of this, and I actually don't trust myself to lead myself and carry myself through that fear. Remember that courage is you feel the fear. It's not absence of fear, it's that you feel the fear and you do it anyway. And we need courage in order to make the leap. We need courage in order to make some of the decisions in our life. It requires that we be courageous. It's like that quote I read at the start of this episode. We become our proverbial future self through doing deep inner work and taking courageous outer action.
Erin Holt [00:31:16]:
Now, I told you that there was some deep inner work about the car example. Again, silly example, but sometimes it's these silly examples that really highlight big stuff in us. I realized that my indecision, it was because I was struggling with feelings of worth. Who am I to do this? Who am I to drive a luxury car? Who am I to whip this around? Do I really need this? Is this a little bit of a frivolous expense? Do I really need this? And I am currently, as we speak right now, working on allowing myself to have things just because I desire them. For those of you who have been listening to the show for a while, remember a few years ago, I had a business coach, and the homework he gave me is to do what feels good in your business. And immediately I was like, resist, because I was like, who am I to even feel good? So I'm just going through another level. The deeper we go in the spirals of these things, the more medicine we receive. And so I'm just, like, on another level of that, because getting a brand new luxury car would have been acting on behalf of my future self, the me that does things simply because they feel good, because I desire them.
Erin Holt [00:32:29]:
And I realized that my indecision held me back from that. And my indecision actually is keeping me stuck right now in the identity that I'm currently trying to outgrow. And that's kind of the cost of my indecision. But also the benefit is being able to witness myself. And now I will not do this again. I will not let indecision in a situation like this hold me back and keep me stuck. So I hope this helps at least some of you motivate yourself to take the leap, to make the action, even if it's say no. Make a decision and then own it.
Erin Holt [00:33:01]:
Trust yourself. Have your own back. Have your own back. And I would love to bake in some accountability here. So after listening to today's show, what is the decision that you know you need to make? You just know, like, this is the one that you've been thinking about this whole time we've been listening to this. What is that decision? I want you to go make it. And then when you do DM me on Instagram, I want to see that. I want to celebrate that.
Erin Holt [00:33:24]:
I told you I can't be a receptacle holding tank for your unlived, unrealized, unactualized dreams, but I sure as shit can hold space for your tenacity and your forward momentum and your ability and capacity to go for what you want. That's what I'm here for. That's what I want to help you do. And that's what I want to see. So let me know, and I'll celebrate you. All right, we'll be back next week. Thanks for joining me for this episode of the Funk'tional Nutrition podcast. If you got something from today's show,
Erin Holt [00:33:59]:
Don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, share with a friend and keep coming back for more. Take care of you.
